IdentityLGBTQ

What to Expect When Your Child is Trans*

Just in case it is not obvious, the post title is a spoof on What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Despite the title and the tone, I have absolutely no idea what you will encounter. This is a rant about my own experiences. If the events and confusions in my …

READ MORE →
IdentityLawLGBTQ

Potty Politics: Four things bathroom bill proponents get wrong

CN: Transphobia At the risk of making this the Grounded Bathrooms page for a little while here, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Target for doubling down on its corporate policy of inclusiveness by announcing that its customers are free to use whatever restroom and dressing room …

READ MORE →
My son with short hair on the beach, wearing sunglasses with a caption reading "DEAL WITH IT."
Ages 2-5DisciplineIdentityParenting Styles

Why Don’t You Let Your Kid Cut All Its Hair Off?

It was just months before my sister-in-law’s wedding when I heard a strange and dreaded sound. You know that sound. That strange snick snick snick… Yep, the sound of my then 4 year old son cutting his hair off with the kid scissors. I started to say something but I stopped.Why …

READ MORE →
IdentityLGBTQ

Dissipating Ghosts and Having a Transgender Child

Have you ever had the experience of walking into a dim room and seeing something that doesn’t make sense at first, a shadow, a light, a movement? Maybe there’s even an odd sound, or a deeper silence than seems usual. And in that split second between unconsciously noticing that something …

READ MORE →
Ages 13-17 (Teen)BabiesFeminismIdentityLanguageParenting StylesUncategorized

No, My First Name Ain’t “Mama”

I consider myself a fairly open-minded person about any number of things. My kid comes out as pangender? No problem, as long as they’re happy and safe. Gay marriage? You love each other and want to be together in sickness and in health? Who am I to say you nay? …

READ MORE →
Target toy aisle
ActivismFeminismIdentityLGBTQ

From Toys to Toilets

As reported here over the weekend, Target has announced that it will remove signage and other culturally enforced color designations in its stores over the next several weeks, presumably in time for a holiday shopping season that will see Lego Friends and Elves moved to the building set aisle where …

READ MORE →
ActivismIdentityLGBTQ

The Gay Agenda* #1: Advice for friends – knowing what you are saying

My child identifies as gay and genderqueer. I happen to think that xe* is a pretty awesome person who ought to be treated as a full human being, and that choices in apparel, hairstyle, and personal partners are irrelevant to that reality. Apparently this qualifies me as support staff for …

READ MORE →
Ages 10-12 (Tween)IdentityLGBTQSex and Sexuality

“I Was Your Daughter, But Now I’m Your Son.”

Life has been busy Chez Phoenix, hence the long hiatus between posts. You ever have so much going on that you can’t pick just one thing to write about? It’s been like that. The most important thing we’ve been dealing with recently is Hipster Tween’s (hereafter referred to as HT) …

READ MORE →
Child in snowman dress and sparkly shoes dangling from monkeybars.
FeminismIdentityPlay

The Casual Privilege of Conforming to Expectations

I first started thinking about conforming as a form of privilege when I was writing The Importance of Not Defining Normal for Other Children and realized how much easier it is, in many ways, to have a child who doesn’t push gender boundaries. In very specific circles, having kids who buck …

READ MORE →
IdentityPoliticsRace, Ethnicity & Culture

What a Kid Wears? Not Our Business

My sons started showing style preferences when they were about 18 months old. I started out offering them a choice between two items of clothing. Because they weren’t quite verbal yet, they grabbed the one they want to wear, and flipped out if I insisted on the one they didn’t. Now that they …

READ MORE →