Work At Home Madness

I’m a WAHM.   At least twice a week, I’m home with my two adorably wild kiddos, changing diapers, cutting tiny pieces of fruit, coloring, monitoring choking hazards, and trying to get actual work done.  I usually try to exercise and keep the house clean, too.  Yes, I go crazy most of the time.  I deserve my Zoloft and occasional Lorazepam.  At least my husband makes dinner almost every night.

Sometimes I just feel like I was designed for more mental stimulation than this.  Despite the predictability and frantic monotony, I’m astonished by something every single day that I’m home with both kids.  This week, for example, I was languidly surprised (lots of oxymorons in WAH parenting) by some of the following:

1.  That I found myself discussing with my almost 3-year-old daughter the disadvantages of feeding play-doh peas to her baby brother.
2. How many times one single work email can be interrupted by phrases like, “come wipe my butt!” and “I need to blow my nose.”  It took 5 attempts between selecting “compose” and, with a sigh of relief, hitting “send.”
3. On the one or two days a week that I get to go to the office in actual professional attire, I only take anywhere from 6,000-8,000 steps according to my pedometer app.  On days when I’m home with both kids, I take between  11,000-12,000+ steps.  On days when my daughter is at preschool, when I’m home with baby only, 9,000-10,000.  Interesting.
4. That this really happened:  My daughter was mid-tantrum while I tried to sit and breastfeed and she yelled non-stop, “I don’t want you to feed him!!  I want to pick (me) up!”  And I was doing my best not to snap or start ugly crying.
5. That when moments like #4 are underway, I resort to the following as my WAHM anthem.  Tease me all you want, but I’m jamming to this right now:

Yes, I know, things could change, things could go my way, if I HOLD ON for one more day!

This anthem reminds me to have gratitude.  This week, I give wholehearted thanks for some of the following:

1. My family is healthy, happy, and has every material item we could ever need.  My kids’ four grandparents see them at least weekly.  Yes this is clichéd.  And pretty wonderful.
2. I’ve successfully trained both kids to nap at the same time.  They’ve been doing so for months.
3. My son is known as the happiest baby ever.  People can’t believe how smiley he is all the damned time.  He’s such a people person.  Everyone who says so is right.
4. My daughter is so articulate.  While playing with stickers at her table, she said, “Ya know, mommy, I’m still a little disappointed dat you yelled at me yesterday.”  I replied, “I know baby.  I shouldn’t have yelled, I should have told you in a normal voice.”  She said, kindly, “Dat’s okay, mommy.”  Heartmelt!
5. And the best of all:  Last night baby boy was crying, which rarely happens.  Daughter says (and this is verbatim, because I whatsapped the conversation to my mom immediately), “Mommy, can you make him feel better?”  I said, “Why sweetpea, do you want him to feel better because you love him?”  Daughter responds, “Yeah, I want him to feel so much happy.”  And that, my friends, is how I know it’s all worth it.

Featured image, © 2014 Kavin Senapathy