HealthHumor

Internet Meme Demolition Derby: That’s not how Diapers Work Edition

Let’s cut right to the chase…

This ad pisses me off.
This is why the anti-chemical/anti-science/anti-innovation trend is so dangerous and infuriating. They’re trying to scare us into thinking all our products are trying to kill us, but don’t give an actual crap about the environment.Safer? Safer than what? I must have missed the 60 Minutes special about the millions of dead babies after using common market diapers.Non GMO? Wtf?
What have you made this diaper out of that might have had the possibility of being GMO?  Ah Non-GMO corn, the wondrous do-it-all material of the future that has magic powers and comes from a world where we cover the earth with acres and acres of non-pest and disease- resistant crops that don’t feed people.I have no idea what certified anti-bacterial means or even is trying to mean. Does it mean there are no germs in the diapers before baby poops in it? Or after? Cause for the first: of course, damnit, what kind of dirty products are you trying to sell? For the latter: I don’t think you can change the bacterial composition of a baby’s shit.

Compostable? Are you fucking kidding me? Have they never read anything about composting? No meat, no dairy, no shit…. it’s pretty simple. You think dogs eating cat poop out of the litter box is a problem, just wait until you have your baby’s shits in your compost pile outside. The neighborhood vermin just became your best friend. And yes I see the asterix… asterixes, like intent, are not magic.

Also, do they not have any idea how many diapers a baby makes in a day? Have they ever seen a baby? Do they actually know what goes *in* diapers? (cue image of overflowing compost heap full of crappy diapers that I’m *sure* are completely anti-bacterial….whatever that means…)

If people are actually concerned about any of this, why not just use cloth? It’s got to be *way* cheaper than the nearly $2/diaper price tag these come with.

This product is bullshit and anyone who buys it deserves to have their kids turn into strip coal mine owners.

It’s also ugly.

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Lou Doench

Lou Doench

Lou Doench is a 48 year old father of three. Twelve years ago he married the coolest woman in the world and gave up the lucrative career of being a photography student to become a stay at home husband and Dad, or SAHD. An atheist geek, or a geeky atheist if you prefer, Lou likes reading, photography, video gaming, disc golf, baseball and Dr. Who. He has been playing Dungeons and Dragons since 1976. Born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. He is also an excellent home cook, not that his children would know because they only eat Mac & Cheese. Follow Lou on Twitter @blotzphoto or check out his photography at www.flickr.com/photos/blotz/

1 Comment

  1. July 14, 2017 at 1:03 am —

    I wouldn’t say Asterix isn’t magic, just because he isn’t always super strong like Obelix, and instead has to drink the potion…

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