My son, AJ has had more girlfriends in the past few years than Led Zeppelin had groupies. The comparison to Zeppelin doesn’t end there though. He also pretty much treated these girls like groupies. They were good for a few short days, maybe a week or two at the most, then it was time for another one.
Trust me, I’ve let him know many times that I think the way he treats women is wrong and appalling.
I don’t want to get into the psychology behind AJ’s behavior right now. I’ll save that for another post. The reason I bring this up is to help explain why what happened today was so hopeful and unexpected.
AJ brought his girlfriend over to meet us today. This is a milestone in any parent’s life, but it is also a milestone in more ways then one for us.
Unlike all the other girlfriends he has had, this is the first one who he has ever actually wanted us to meet. He has also been seeing her for almost three months. Given his track record, that is like an eternity in comparison.
The gathering was very pleasant. She is a very nice, very smart girl. She is a senior in high school with plans to start an accelerated graduate degree at a local college in the fall. She is an animal lover, non-religious, and clear-headed.
What was really wonderful is the effect she seemed to have on my son. Not once during the visit did I hear him use profanity. I didn’t think he could have a conversation without cursing, but apparently he can when she is around. Also, he seemed to be clear-headed as well, and given his history of substance abuse, that is very promising.
Overall, I was very impressed with her and somewhat hopeful that AJ has found someone who seems to be a good influence on him. It makes me hope that he might be starting to turn his life around.
Of course, being the realistic and skeptical person that I am, I have no illusions that this is some magical turning point for AJ. I realize that his history shows that he can be fickle and so in a month he could move onto to someone else. Still, he is only 19 and is still maturing emotionally so there is always the hope that this relationship will help move him in the right direction.
So my first “Meet the Parents” experience went pretty well. I made sure to let his girlfriend know that I enjoyed having her over and I left my son with no doubt that I was pleased. Of course, being the realist that I am, I had to add some parental advice to my praise. After they had left, I sent him a text message:
We really like her! I think she is really good for you. Don’t fuck it up!
Featured image by tvermar