New U.S. Currency to Celebrate the Minimal Role Women Have Played in History

The U.S. Treasury announced Wednesday that in an attempt to compromise with advocates who were pressing to get a woman on the $20 bill, they will be releasing new currency. Rather than replacing Andrew Jackson with a less horrible human being on the $20 bill as advocates proposed, they will be releasing a $10 bill featuring non-specified woman of importance in American history, if they are able to identify one, as well as Alexander Hamilton, the man who is currently on the bill. They are waiting to introduce the new bill in 2020, because it nicely lines up with 100th anniversary of he Nineteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which gave women the right to vote, and to do so sooner would be too much work for something of minimal importance.

Why create new currency rather than replace the problematic man on the $20 bill as advocates wanted?

Treasury Secretary Jack Lew explained, “If we give women a little bit of recognition, we can keep them happy enough so that they will continue to exist in a highly patriarchal society with few complaints. We couldn’t give them exactly what they asked for, because that would teach them that they have a voice and power.” He added, “We also thought that it was important to highlight a woman’s worth by putting a woman on a smaller, less widely used bill. Replacing such an upstanding citizen and role model like Andrew Jackson would be so disappointing for those who share his views on race and gender today.”

“Our democracy is a work in progress,” Lew said, adding: “This decision to put a woman on the bill next to a man, reflects our aspirations for the future. We can’t do the right thing now, it would upset too many men.”

Men’s rights’ activists have expressed outrage over the new currency, “President Hamilton shouldn’t have to share his space on the $10 bill with a woman!” explained Washington D.C. banker Jimmy Crow, “We can’t teach women that they have equal status to men. It’s such a slippery slope. Next those feminazis will want equal pay and representation in Congress. We can’t let that happen. What’s next – a gay or an illegal? A dolphin? A transexual?”

The treasury secretary is ultimately responsible for currency design, but in keeping with the theme of democracy and inclusiveness, the department has decided to invite the public to weigh in. People can share ideas, symbols and designs that reflect what democracy means to them on social media with the hashtag #TheNew10 or on the website thenew10.treasury.gov.

Some suggestions for the woman to be added include Susan B. Anthony and Alice Stokes Paul, pivotal leaders in the women’s suffrage movement, Sacagawea, a native woman who allowed for a more complete colonization of America by whites, and Amelia Earhart, who did something related to planes. Other currency to be released in future years may include a $7.70 bill featuring a white woman working a minimum wage job, as well as a $6.40 bill, featuring Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, and Andrew Jackson.