Adult ChildrenAges 13-17 (Teen)

Rejection is our constant companion.

No matter how old your kids are, they have some pretty dumbass ideas. My daughter Mary Alice, a junior in college, texted me the other day “I just took a practice LSAT and got a 160. I’m taking the official practice test next week.” Kewl. Good luck. She had mentioned …

HealthSpecial Needs

You know what else is a public health crisis? Autism.

Like many parents, I spend a lot of my day attempting to not sound totally nuts. For example, last Sunday I made an impassioned plea to the staff at my local YMCA: “Has anyone turned in a hair dryer? It’s not a regular hair dryer, it’s a wall-mounted hair dryer, …

Ages 13-17 (Teen)AtheismHumorUncategorized

Are you there, God? It’s me, Elizabeth Lauten.

It really does take a village to raise a child but with the Village comes the occasional Village Idiot. Sometimes this Idiot is a lovable stranger in line at the grocery store loudly shouting Roku instructions to his family and sometimes the Idiot is Gwyneth Paltrow who believes that grown …

ActivismAges 13-17 (Teen)HumorSpecial Needs

Bath And Body Worked Over: Don’t Keep My Kid Out of Your Shitty Store

Let me tell you a little story about the day I lost my parental shit… It was the year my special needs daughter was turning 18, in my home state of Virginia that means that I had to obtain Guardianship for her. This seemingly mandatory procedure involved two attorneys, a …


Shitcanned With Kids: a Recipe for Disaster.

If you work anywhere, you probably already know that people suck. Well, maybe not people so much as the people you are forced into relationships with suck, people like coworkers or your children. You may try to blame your problems on your actual job but trust me, your job is …

BabiesHumorParenting FailsParenting Styles

You Need Kids Like A Hole In The Head

I don’t mean to make anyone here feel real stupid or anything but I’m a certified college graduate. That’s right, I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology so I know a hella lot about human development. I’m more than a little proud to say that I took no less than …

Step Families

Taking Out the Trash: How I Managed to Date with Three Kids.

Children are easy but marriage is a total pain in the ass. Still. people still insist on getting married and some nutty people are even fighting for the right to marry. Go ahead, throw a big party, buy a ridiculous dress or just run away to Vegas, any way you …

Bully Nation
Ages 13-17 (Teen)EducationSpecial NeedsUncategorized

Your Kid Ain’t All That.

This past week, my Ohioan autistic advocate blood was boiling over the news of bullies who pulled a faux ice bucket challenge on a 14-year-old autistic kid. Bullying happens to kids all of the time but it’s one thing to know it and another to see it. Thanks to the …


Celebrity Update: What’s in Mom’s Purse?

Much like Gwyneth Paltrow, I am very concerned about my lifestyle. It’s a conscious decision to be both sentient and amazing. I spend a lot of time meditating on balancing my needs with the requirements others. Nah, screw others—I’m all about me, me, me these days. Part of my new …

But who will water my soul?
Parenting Fails

Mom, You’re not Cool Anymore

That awkward moment when you realize that you have no idea what the hell your kids are talking about. In our electronic world, it’s impossible to monitor all of the sites, blogs, podcasts, vines and whatever these kids are Tumbelring . It’s hard enough to keep up with the hardware …